I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
