I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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