dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
