Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
