i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
