Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
