STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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