i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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