Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
