she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
