i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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