yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
