Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
