Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
