Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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