I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
