why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
