Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
