WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
