My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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