also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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