I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
