walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
