Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i think i just lost a toe
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
