your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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