Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
