Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
