how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize