Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have post one night stand depression
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