She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
