I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize