Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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