the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
