I hate all girls vehemently.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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