What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
