My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
