"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
