talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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