Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
