so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize