Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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