I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
