btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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