Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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