Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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