How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
