No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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