btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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