Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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