May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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