Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
