Don't you send me to vm
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
MIDGETS
????
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
