I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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