none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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