So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
