Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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