I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
