Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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