Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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