like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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