My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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