It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
