This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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