Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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