We're facebook friends in real life
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
