Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Of course I have a pirate flag
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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