Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
