I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
