It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
