Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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