So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
