Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
