Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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