If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
