oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
