that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
