My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
