my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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