I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
