OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
