Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
